Crime and Punishment


So much of eating and exercising was always tied up in my head to some kind of S&M fantasy.  I liked to punish and reward with food…sometimes when I was rewarding myself for some trivial accomplishment…I would think to myself-“Yeah eat that fatty” like a bad line from a 90’s porno….and then I’d feel the pain of it later and that felt just as good as the crime.  We are all driven by rewards and punishments and since infancy food seems very tied to this mechanism (a special dessert if you got a good report card, no dinner if you got bad call home).  So I took that S&M relationship with food and exercise and I made it work for me.

Now people, with a lot more knowledge and training in psychology and nutrition and fitness will ardently disagree with my approach but it’s what worked for me and while it may not work for you- I implore you to stop listening to tv weight loss commercials, stop pinning workout plans that you have no intention of doing, or meal plans that require you to eat a bunch of poison that has been substituted for real food.  Find what works for you- even if it’s a little crazy because ultimately if it doesn’t work for you, you won’t do it right?

I broke some hard, fast weight loss rules right away (but I am a secret bad-ass so that shouldn’t surprise you too much).  First, I get on the scale every day, every time I see a scale, even at work, and if I was small enough,  I would have weighed myself on the vegetable scale in the produce aisle and you would have had to skirt your children away from me and explain THAT over dinner.  You check your bank balance regularly.  You check your kids’ grades online (I know you do).  You check your partner’s texts and emails (ok that may not be all of us) but you get the idea.  I needed immediate feedback…and blah blah blah about the time of day and water weight and all that other completely factual and relevant information.  If I gained, I ran at the gym, in front of people with only a sports bra on top which was truly embarrassing.  If I lost, well I can’t tell you what I’d do but it was very pleasurable.    Come up with your own punishments and rewards- incentivize yourself with what motivates you.

Second, I never did cheat meals in the first 6 months….I was in food sobriety and until I learned how to be stronger than my impulses- tempting myself seemed like an easy way to relapse.  You wouldn’t cheat on your partner just on the weekends, right (“But baby it was Saturday- you can’t be mad”).  That is not to say there isn’t a time for a slice of pizza or a greasy cheeseburger but that time isn’t in the first 6 months.  Got it.  See how bossy I sounded there… that was me cracking the whip.


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